We’re often told that when we can’t stick to habits or resolutions, we’re lacking discipline. That we’re sabotaging ourselves.

But what if nothing is wrong with you at all?

What if these moments - spending, eating, scrolling, staying up late - aren’t failures of willpower, but nervous systems responding to a future that doesn’t yet feel safe?

This piece explores why change doesn’t come from pressure, but from safety - and why so many of us have been asking too much of ourselves.

I haven’t stepped on my scales for years; but I still haven’t thrown them away.

The story of how I learned to tend to the part of me that was using my scales as an advent calendar to the perfect day and why healing was never going to be as simple as smashing up the scale or using willpower to stop weighing myself…