We’re often told that when we can’t stick to habits or resolutions, we’re lacking discipline. That we’re sabotaging ourselves.

But what if nothing is wrong with you at all?

What if these moments - spending, eating, scrolling, staying up late - aren’t failures of willpower, but nervous systems responding to a future that doesn’t yet feel safe?

This piece explores why change doesn’t come from pressure, but from safety - and why so many of us have been asking too much of ourselves.