I haven’t stepped on my scales for years; but I still haven’t thrown them away.

The story of how I learned to tend to the part of me that was using my scales as an advent calendar to the perfect day and why healing was never going to be as simple as smashing up the scale or using willpower to stop weighing myself…

You don’t struggle to keep foods in the house without bingeing on them because you can’t be trusted around them. You struggle because your nervous system is protecting itself from deprivation.

A trauma-informed, somatic exploration of anorexia nervosa - beyond control and thinness - toward safety, fullness, and embodied healing.

Bulimia isn’t a lack of willpower - it’s a nervous system response to overwhelm. Learn how somatic nutrition therapy helps you rebuild safety and trust in your body’s wisdom.

In a culture that idolises food restriction, bingeing can feel deeply shameful. But through a somatic (read biological, nervous system) lens, it makes the most profound sense, and bingeing is transformed into a portal for healing.

There’s a moment that can happen in the healing process — a moment that feels like the ground falls out beneath you.

You’re sitting with someone you’ve come to trust. Someone who’s been helping you untangle the noise, the shame, the overwhelm. You ask a question — perhaps hoping for a clear answer, a fix, a roadmap. And instead, you hear something unexpected:

“I don’t have all the answers.”

And suddenly, your body collapses.
Grief rushes in.
Fear. Sadness. Even anger.

It’s not just disappointment — it’s something deeper. A rupture in the fantasy that someone out there could save you.

If this has happened to you, I want you to know: it makes so much sense.

In my work, I have the privilege of sitting beside many tender souls navigating a painful relationship with their body.

And what I’ve come to learn is this: body image pain is never just about how we look. It’s about how safe we feel inside our skin.

Sometimes the struggle shows up as a lifelong attempt to shrink.
Sometimes it looks like a fear of taking up space.
Sometimes it’s body hatred so familiar, it feels like truth.

We live in a world that teaches us to disconnect from our bodies. To critique them, mould them, mistrust them. And in a society steeped in fatphobia, trauma, ableism, and comparison, it makes sense that so many of us feel at war with our physical form.

But this post isn’t about learning to “love your body” overnight. It’s not about forcing positivity where there is still pain.

It’s an invitation into something gentler.

You’re just trying to take care of yourself.

So you pop on a podcast while you’re driving or doing the dishes — hoping to hear something helpful. And at first, it feels good to feel inspired. But then it starts to build: a list of things you’re apparently doing wrong. The oils you shouldn’t be using. The blood sugar hacks you should be doing. The supplements they say you need.

One minute seed oils are the devil. The next, you’re not getting enough Omega-3. One expert says breakfast is essential. Another swears by fasting. And somewhere in the middle, you’re just trying to get through your day — trying to feed yourself without shame, to survive chronic symptoms, to feel a little better in your body.

It’s no wonder you feel confused.
It’s no wonder you feel like you can’t keep up.
It’s no wonder you start wondering if you’re failing.

And it’s not your fault.

You sit down to eat, but your brain doesn't.
It’s still running — spinning through to-do lists, analyzing that conversation from earlier, or scanning ahead for what could go wrong. You’re chewing, but you’re not really there. Maybe you’re scrolling your phone, watching something, reading, anything to stay one step ahead of the noise.
And maybe you've tried to “just eat mindfully,” but it feels... boring. Uncomfortable. Even a little scary.

You’re not broken.
Your nervous system might just be doing its best to keep you safe — even while you eat.

People pleasing is a sign that your nervous system believes you are safest when those around you are happy. Here’s what it can look like in your relationship with food, and where to go from here…